I know she likes me, I know she needs me, she wants to see me happy, but only as a very good friend, she doesn’t love me, but I want her to love me, I didn’t ask her before loving, it just happened, I am simply in love with her where there are no complains, no demands, I love her a lot and I can do anything, I can pay any cost to make her smile to see her happy. Yes I feel jealous to see her with other guys, but more important than that is she is happy and I can’t damage her smile, I don’t know how long it will last but I know she will not cry till I am alive and I will come back if she cries after I am dead!!
This time it was not one night or one week’s fight, it’s been almost a month we were not talking to each other, she didn’t even wish me New Year neither did I took the initiative, our relationship was almost on it’s end, and I know how tough it was for me to see her sitting in the bus with other guys, we had eye contacts many times but acted as if we were strangers.
A lot of things changed around me, the romantic movies in my video shelf were replaced by action movies, my facebook status changed to “single” from “it’s complicated”. It was hurting me day and night to see my love loving some body else. But there were my friends Asheesh and Anurag who were still with me, I thank god for giving me such a good friends, I noticed the power of friendship was far more than love, as love can leave you in midway but not true friends.
From the moments spend with Simran I got the courage to talk with girls, I was no longer the same Sanjit who was shy from talking with girls, there were many other pretty girls in the college who were unnoticed by me.
One of Vandana’s friends proposed me in restaurant but I couldn’t reply her.
“Another girl?” thought came in my mind.
I started moving out of the restaurant. Will I be able to love her? Will I be able to tell her that she is not in my heart when I see her in front of my eyes? She is not the one about whom I have dreamed of spending my rest of life. Whatever she does I would be comparing her with Simran. I love Simran, Simran, Simran, and Simran. So why should I screw her life when mine is already screwed up......?...
I kept asking myself these questions as I walked out of restaurant.
'Where are you going??' she asked
'I am sorry', I replied.
'Sorry for what?
'Dont know, but I am really sorry', I said and moved on.
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